SCAVENGERS Joke of the day

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Re: WHERE ARE YOUR TECH SUPPORT CALLS BEING ROUTED?

Postby Greybear » Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:18 pm

I do not mind them using India or any other foriegn country.

My dealings with MS phone service have always been good.


What I do care about is their ability to speak clearly and understandabily. A thick accent that is hard to understand makes getting help harder than it should be. And if I call about say - Windows - they need to know how to use it as well as read the screen.


It does suck, because I know a few people that can do tech support(disabled) for min wage and would put in alot of hours just to talk to people daily.
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Re: SCAVENGERS Joke of the day

Postby SCAVENGER1 » Sat Aug 01, 2009 3:39 pm

i she fall out.. i mean she fall into that german category !! uhm dam if she ever need help i would volunteer in a heart beat !!

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Footnote:
Now, some of the younger ones among us may think what a bunch of crap but I think there is a lot to be said about this. Also, American kids were drug to watch The Lawrence Welk Show on a Saturday night with Grandma and Grandpa or for those on the other side of the pond it was the English equivalent. The Black and White Minstrel Show. What a great time!
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Re: SCAVENGERS Joke of the day

Postby SCAVENGER1 » Sat Aug 01, 2009 3:41 pm

The other day, I needed to go to the emergency room.

Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch onto the front of my shirt that I had downloaded off the Internet.

When I went into the ER I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all It cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.





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It also works at DMV, Food Stamps Office and the Laundromat.
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Re: SCAVENGERS Joke of the day

Postby Mr. Chris » Sat Aug 01, 2009 3:55 pm

SCAVENGER1 wrote:i she fall out.. i mean she fall into that german category !! uhm dam if she ever need help i would volunteer in a heart beat !!

Image
Footnote:
Now, some of the younger ones among us may think what a bunch of crap but I think there is a lot to be said about this. Also, American kids were drug to watch The Lawrence Welk Show on a Saturday night with Grandma and Grandpa or for those on the other side of the pond it was the English equivalent. The Black and White Minstrel Show. What a great time!


Yup, I had the same "drug" problem when I was growing up, too. I think that discipline is seriously lacking in kids these days. But, it is what it is. Chris.
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Re: SCAVENGERS Joke of the day

Postby SCAVENGER1 » Sat Aug 01, 2009 4:00 pm

that so true Chris and it is sad ya know the things that go on today didnt happen back in the day when i was a kid. kind of like when kids were seen and not herd!! now there something that got lost along the way i think.

now days kids can do waht ever they think they can and get away with it to. like talking back to there elder and such which would have never happen when i was growing up thats for sure.
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Re: SCAVENGERS Joke of the day

Postby dmdilks » Mon Aug 03, 2009 2:58 pm

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...


Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

A: 'Yes sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes sir.'

Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'

A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
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Re: SCAVENGERS Joke of the day

Postby Mr. Chris » Mon Aug 03, 2009 3:38 pm

Now THAT is one smart cop! ;) Chris.
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Lifesavers.... The Candy With The Little Hole -

Postby RubberDuck » Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:40 am

Hope ya don't mind Scavenger :oops:

Lifesavers.... The Candy With The Little Hole -

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The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red.....................Cherry
Yellow................Lemon
Green...................Lime
Orange ...............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my God! They're ass-holes!

The teacher had to leave the room! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: SCAVENGERS Joke of the day

Postby SCAVENGER1 » Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:46 am

dont mind 1 bit. join in on the fun. and thats a real good 1 to :9:
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Re: SCAVENGERS Joke of the day

Postby dmdilks » Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:15 pm

HIGH SCHOOL 1959 vs. 2009
Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.
1959 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1959 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2009 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it...

Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1959 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2009 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt
1959 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1959 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock
2009 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.
1959 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them i n a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1959 - < /SPAN>Ants die.
2009 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1959 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.


This show how stupid we have become!!
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